Ok, so in my last post about budgeting for the holidays I mentioned that, even though I am unemployed, I will continue to buy gifts for the people in my life who are important to me.  I’m truly inspired by people who think of others during the holidays and I’m humbled by those that selflessly give of themselves to bring joy to other’s lives.  I don’t claim to be selfless and I don’t claim to be without ulterior motives.  As I mentioned, I give selfishly… not because I need or expect people to return the gesture but rather because I get my own happiness by buying someone the “perfect gift” and because I selfishly want to have a Christmas where my tree is surrounded by presents.  Because these things make ME happy!

I read an interesting article today on MSN Money The Fine Art of Holiday Tipping and, I have to admit I was saddened by the list of suggested gratuities.  Here’s a quote from the article that struke a chord with me.

“Many of us plan to spend less this holiday season. But far more of us plan to skimp on ourselves than intend to cut back on holiday tips for service providers….  The definition of thrift is economizing at your own expense. The definition of miserliness is economizing at someone else’s expense, which is what skipping holiday tips could easily be.”

The underlying message here is to give in the true spirit of giving.. which is to show people that you are thinking about them and that you appreciate them.  This message I buy wholeheartedly BUT, when I looked at the list of “who should get tipped at the holidays” I was somewhat saddened.

Here’s their list:

What upsets me is the fact that many of these folks get paid very well for providing services throughout the year.  Some of them work in industries where much of their compensation is based on tips but many of these folks work for very decent salaries, or hourly wages that provide them with a very good standard of living.  By putting together a list such as this, they are not only encouraging people to tip far too many people (in my opinion) but they are also setting an expectation for each of these folks that they are indeed ENTITLED to a holiday gratuity.  And, therefore anyone who doesn’t step up will look bad.  Let’s be honest, for every one person who is truly appreciative of an unexpected tip, there are 3 others who have an expectation for a tip

While I’m all about being thoughtful, by my math, if you tipped everyone on this list you’d be spending just shy of $300.  And, while the article does note that “holiday tipping, and gift giving in general, isn’t about going into debt”.  It really imparts the thought that you are some horrible, unappreciative person, if you haven’t given any thought to additional holiday gratuities. 

So, I’ll step off my soap box now and I’ll just leave you with this… 

Etiquette aside… if you are not in a position to tip, you shouldn’t feel obligated to do so.  And, if you do want to recognize certain people (not necessarily the 15 or so noted on the MSN list) perhaps there are a couple of folks who would appreciate some freshly baked cookies, or maybe a nice hand drawn card from your kids!  Everyone is struggling this year and no one should EXPECT a tip this holiday season!

Lately it seems that every time I turn around I am spending money.  Which, to someone who is unemployed, isn’t necessarily the best plan. 

As I’m sure you can understand, it’s Christmastime and therefore there’s obviously another whole new line item in the budget this month called gifts. 

I should start by saying that I LOVE Christmas and I’m one of those crazy people that truly gets joy out of finding the perfect gifts for people.  I’m excited to see them smile as they open something that I’ve picked out.  I’ve been fortunate over the years in that, although we weren’t overly extravagant, we didn’t really put a budget to the holiday.  We just shopped until we found items that we thought others would like and we bought them.  I guess I took it for granted that we could just buy gifts without ever thinking about cost. 

But, as I try to wrap up shopping in the midst of many other necessary outlays of money, I can’t help but wonder where to draw the line.  I will not give up buying presents that will make people happy.  With the way I’ve felt the last 6 months, I need to hold on tight to the things that make ME happy.  The things that make me feel “normal”.  And, presents piled high under the tree is one of those things.  Is this the smartest plan?  Maybe not.  But, it won’t mean that hubby and I have to forgo dinners one week and I certainly won’t buy gifts that prevent me from paying my mortgage this month. 

Maybe it will force me to be more creative, maybe it will require me to scour the internet for more coupons & deals.  But, dang it!  I will make sure that I celebrate as normal a holiday as possible.   And maybe just maybe Santa will deliver me some good news this Christmas… in the form of a new job for the new year!

For those of you how may be struggling with budgeting this holiday season, I’ve included some links below that may be helpful.

Budgeting for Christmas While Unemployed

It’s a Tight Christmas This Year

Kmart’s Smart Assist Program (more details can be found  HERE)

Christmas Survival Guide

As Christmas approaches and I’m asked what sort of goodies I’d like from Santa, I can’t help but fantasize about creating my own real wish list. 

So, if I could have anything I want this Christmas, here are a few things you’d find on my list. 

• Every single sock would always have a match when I fold my laundry
• My dog would learn to walk herself on rainy/snowy days (and not run away)
• Any calories from ice cream or chocolate would never impact my weight
• My waist would shrink two sizes (sort of the opposite of the Grinch’s heart!)
• Someone will call me with a job offer (this couldn’t possibly not be on the list)
• Or alternatively, someone will call to tell me I’ve somehow acquired a large amount of $$$ 

And, I think perhaps my #1 wish would be….. 

• For just one day (ok maybe two) every single stupid person in the world wouldn’t be able to speak AND, these same people wouldn’t be able to drive 

Ahhhhhhh….. imagine the peaceful silence of those two magical days!  

But, I’m a realist and I’m sure that the elves are not diligently working on any of these wishes

So, I guess I’ll just stick with some standard items: 

• Some new pants to help mask the muffin top
• A tape measure for my new real estate gig
• Some new pajamas.. mine have been worn to death this year 

And some other miscellaneous stuff that can easily be found at the local mall! 

Unless of course you are truly reading my blog Santa… and if you are, I bet you too would appreciate a day where the streets are free from stupid people!

You may have noticed that my regular blogging schedule has been all screwed up. I have to be honest and tell you that lately, I’d forget my head, if it wasn’t screwed on.

As I ease myself back into the world where my days are actually filled with activities, I’ve realized that I’ve lost my ability to multi-task.  Or to even remember information for longer than oh say, 5 minutes.  Plus, toss in Thanksgiving and getting ready for Christmas and I really don’t know which way is up!

I used to be a master multi-tasker.  I was able to work full time (much of which included overnight travel) while I still maintained my house, went shopping, prepared food, paid bills, did laundry and remembered all those little things that just simply need to get done each week.  Now, I can barely remember to carry the coffee I poured into a travel mug to the car with me in the mornings.

If I’ve had mush brain over the last few months I’m not sure what I have now…. Maybe my mind has truly entered some sort of sleep mode and I’m having a hard time waking it up?

Not only am I having trouble keeping up with basic, daily tasks but I am completely forgetful.  On more than one occasion my husband has looked at me and shook his head because I’m headed to do something in the wrong direction, or without the necessary items.  But this past week, as I diligently work to clear the cobwebs from my mind, I had the biggest brain fart of all time.  I forgot my father’s birthday.  (Dad… I’m still so incredibly sorry).   Now, let me clarify so you get the full picture.

I didn’t completely forget his birthday.  I had already purchased a card and a gift.  I woke up on the morning of his birthday to head to a real estate training class.  I DID remember it was his b-day and I thought about calling him on my drive but I got a bit sidetracked and then didn’t have enough time before my class.  After class my poor dad completely slipped my mind.  That night I went over to my parent’s house for a completely unrelated reason.  I proceeded to chat with them for 30 minutes or so (no mention of Happy Birthday to Dad).  So, for all intensive purposes it sure did seem like I completely forgot.  Not until my  Dad said to me… “so, you’re not gonna say Happy Birthday” did I realize how much I truly do suck.   

Until this day, my current mental stupidity hasn’t had a hugely adverse effect on anyone other than myself.  Unless of course you count my poor hubby who has to deal with me speaking gibberish, forgetting why I’ve walked into a room and of course the enormous laundry pile that for some reason I just can’t get to. But, on Dad’s b-day it showed the first effects of impacting other people and I can’t believe how bad it is!

So my dear blog readers… I apologize for not working out a better blogging schedule, I apologize for sometimes not making any sense and I apologize for not sharing all the comical stories from the past couple of weeks… I vow to try to create a new routine for myself.

And, for my dear Dad…. I apologize to you again, on the world wide web, for the entire world to see…. I’ve become stupid, forgetful and on occasion downright dumb.  But hopefully now that I’m more active my mind will wake up and I’m looking forward to enjoying some cake with you this week…. On Tuesday, no wait.. maybe it’s Wednesday, or was it lunch,  not cake?  Oh crap.. I can’t remember….

 

In honor of the Christmas holiday I have created my own lay off version of “Twas The Night Before Christmas.

I hope you enjoy!

 

‘Twas the night before Tuesday, when the email came out

A company wide meeting… what’s it about?

The employees were nervous, and worried and scared,

In hopes that the company still truly cared 

The rumors and gossip all started to spread

The accountants all scrambled but were still in the red 

While executives whispered behind their closed doors 

The panic developed and rolled through the floors 

Lay offs, or closings, or salary cuts.. 

Furloughs, or cut backs .. What are they nuts? 

The year was a tough one, and business was bad 

The economy was hurting, and people were mad 

The meeting time came and the announcement was made 

The employees all listened, but still were afraid 

There would be lay offs, and jobs would be lost 

They had exhausted all options but couldn’t handle the cost 

The recession had hit us, there was no escape 

Eyes were wide open and mouths were agape 

One by one, each of us learned of our fate 

Some left with blank stares and some filled with hate 

Onward and upwards I had to believe 

Life will somehow be better after I leave 

I said my goodbyes and I gathered my things 

Then I took a step forward to see what life brings……..

 

And I heard them exclaim as I walked out the door….

We appreciate your hard work and wish we could have done more….

 

 

As a reader, you may be able to tell when I’m having a happy day or a bad day.. and, since the mood swings of unemployment can be so severe it’s virtually impossible to keep them out of my blog. 

So I’m sure, if you’re a regular reader, that on my crazy ranting days you are shaking your head thinking…. “geez.. there she goes again” or maybe “wow, this chick is truly nuts”.  And, while I wouldn’t argue against either of these statements at least you know that when I blog, I’m sincere. 

I write about whatever is on my mind.  Sometimes my entry is sparked directly by my unemployment struggles, sometimes by how I’ve spent my day, or what moron I’ve encountered at the supermarket or maybe something I read in the news.  Either way, my posts are usually very relevant to my immediate state of mind and they are influenced by my current activities. 

So, today as I read back thru some of my old posts, I’m struck by how mopey I might sound sometimes or how manic I can seem.  It just goes to show that after 5 full months of unemployment you can really run through an entire variety of emotions.  It’s an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone… .AND, an experience I’d never have fully understood until it happened to me. 

• There’s a glimmer of hope…… then it slips away
• I’m taken out for a free lunch …… then I have to pay my mortgage
• I get an interview….. then I’m told I’m overqualified..

It can take a toll on anyone…..  

So, as I approach the end of 2009 (good riddance I say).  I can’t help but reflect on how I’ve spent half the year….swinging from one vine to another… sometimes I fall, sometimes my hand slips, sometimes I smack into the wall but, 5 months later… I’m still swinging, and even on my low days I just have to remember that this too will pass.

I’m not getting all sentimental on you today…. I’m just trying to work out my new life in my head and I took some time to re-read old posts and it got me thinking about what a whirlwind year this has been. 

Today is December 1^st…. 

I’m excited for the holiday…. Christmastime truly gives me the warm fuzzies and I’m not going to let my unemployment drag me down.   Santa is coming soon, my house twinkles with decorations and, at least for today, I’m happy!

Today, as my alarm went off at 7:15am… which by the way, is the earliest I’ve been up in months…..I wondered how long it’s going to take me to adjust to a normal schedule again.   Or the more detailed question I asked myself … will I ever be normal again? 

I am officially a realtor now.. YIPPEEE!  I started a “fast track” training program today.  This class is only ½ a day but it runs for 2 weeks and I need to be there at 9:00 every morning.  And, this is a huge adjustment for me.  You’d think that I would have somewhat readjusted since it wasn’t all that long ago that I took my real estate class but, apparently I’m still on wacked out unemployment time. 

I can’t seem to go to bed at a “normal time”and therefore,  I cannot seem to get up earlier than 10:00am and still feel rested. Which, in case you’re not following along, is not exactly a new problem.. since I’ve had sleep issues many times during my unemployment.. BUT, it poses a big problem now since I need to be there at 9:00am.. which is an entire hour EARLIER than my body wants to wake up. 

I also am FAT.  I’ve spoken before about my muffin top, and my lack of active leisure, and my complete failure to live up to the name of my own blog.  I’ve only successfully been active when it comes to my mind and even then, it’s still sort of mushy at times.  My physical activity has been nil… unless of course you count walking to the mailbox.  Which by the way.. doesn’t even happen every day… and, yes, my hubby wants to kill me when he comes home from work, sees me in my PJs and says, “you really didn’t even go outside to get the mail today??”… and I sadly reply… “uhm… no… I know, I suck”. 

Now that I need to leave the house every day, in business attire, I’ve realized that nothing friggin’ fits… and, oh God, it’s depressing.  I had hoped and hoped that I’d have a reason to get showered and go out into the world… but I never factored in the fact the general public does not want to see me in my pajamas.. and my belly has grown to fill out those elastic waists quite nicely. 

And…. here we are in the midst of Thanksgiving weekend and headed into Christmas, and any hope that I can slim down the muffin is probably just simply not going to happen this month.    Thankfully I can ask Santa for new “muffin concealing pants” for Christmas! 

So I’m yearning for normalcy. 

A normal schedule

A normal diet

A normal weight

Pants with zippers & buttons (not elastic waists)

An oh yeah… I haircut… since I haven’t had one since before I was laid off (and if you could only see how big and frizzy my hair gets without a haircut you’d be afraid… very afraid) 

So, as I make my transition back to the life of the motivated…. Wish me luck….. as of right now it’s a very overwhelming and intimidating place!

 

It’s been a crazy busy week for me… and I’m ready to eat too much food and drink too many cocktails (not sure how this differs exactly from what I’ve been doing for the last few months or so…

Anyway, my blogging schedule has been a little messed up this week… hopefully I’ll be back on track next week!

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I’m on a crusade this week…….

I’m sorry to say that I’m not solving world hunger, or promoting world peace, or fixing our healthcare issues or our unemployment problem.

This week I’m crusading against a far worse enemy —  An enemy that threatens our children and our intelligence and well,  my ears (and your ears too!)

This week I’m creating a public service campaign to address the massacre of the English language.  Or, as my hubby has been calling it, my “one woman war against bad word usage”.

I can’t help but cringe as I watch (or better yet.. listen) to people use words that are truly not words in every day conversation.  I often cringe when I think about how many of these ignorant people are gainfully employed, as I sit here endlessly job searching.  Many of whom do not have a basic understanding of communication or language rules.

I will admit, that I blame the media for a huge portion of this problem.  If newscasters misuse or mispronounce words, it somehow becomes acceptable to reiterate these words in other places.  And, as you may know, since English is a living & breathing language, words are constantly added and/or modified to adjust with our developing culture.  And therein lies the problem. People misuse a word, and our language evolves in a way that adds this incorrect usage of the word to some sort of urban use dictionary.  Then… tragedy of all tragedies is the day when other people use this dictionary addition to back-up their misuse of the word and……. all of a sudden there’s verbal anarchy.

So today, good people of the internet, for better or worse, I’m going to share with you some of the words that I find to be the MOST offensive as I feel they truly butcher an otherwise wonderful language (and, bear in mind, I’m referring to the American English language.. as I know there are variations with British English)

I don’t claim to be a wordsmith or a linguist but I do think I can hold my own in a conversation and I DO have a general grasp on words that are either blatantly incorrect or that have undergone a massive evolution into something so different from what was originally intended (in my opinion)

So.. .let’s begin.

STUPIDER – Quite simply stated… this is not a word.  And, if you use the word stupider, there are few people who are more stupid than you.

IRREGARDLESS – Ever hear of a double negative?  The prefix ir- (i-r) is a negative prefix, so if you add the prefix ir to a word that’s already negative like regardless, you’re making a double-negative word that literally means “without without regard.”.   Makes sense?  I bet not, you’ll still probably use this word regardless of my explanation.

FUNNER – Another simple and basic word that’s ruined!  Something cannot be funner… it can be more fun, it can be the most fun you’ve ever had but it cannot be funner.

FREER – Much like above.  The standard usage would be that you are more free. Conversely, Abe Lincoln might be known as a freer of slaves (one that frees, especially a liberator or emancipator)

HARASSMENT – When did the American pronunciation jump the Altantic to British English?  I can remember many years ago hearing a change in accent by a newscaster and then all of a sudden it went from Har-ASS-ment to HAR-ass-ment?

COMPARABLE – Much like above…. when did this pronunciation go from COM-par-able to com-PAR-a-ble?

ORIENTATED – Oh boy, this one crawls right under my skin.  The correct word is oriented…. Please, please, please leave out that extra syllable!

I have heard these mistakes everywhere.  Not just in every-day conversations but on the news, in written books, on commercials.  I just find it incredibly sad that, as a society, we’ve learned to lower our standards.  So go forth, my dear blog readers, and correct your friends, post on facebook, send out a Tweet…. Join me on my crusade today… to make the world a better place (at least the English speaking part of it!)

You’ll notice I didn’t even begin to dive into the your & you’re issues or the their, they’re, their challenges (or the many others)… because I believe these can be honest mistakes.  Whereas, with some of my other examples, people will literally argue that the words they are using are indeed correct!

And… I’m sure I’ve missed a ton of examples… feel free to share your biggest pet peeve below!

That women shouldn’t have mammograms until age 50.  The “risks outweigh the benefits”… 

What an uproar this has caused and rightfully so.  And, I’m truly astonished that our country would take such a huge step BACKWARDS. 

I thought we were a nation of smart & educated people.  We recommend tons of activity for “preventative maintenance”.  We get our oil changed, we visit the dentist yearly, we eat our vegetables.  But, in what I can only view as a governmental recommendation to save money, (cause you know, money is so much more important than people’s lives???) we should wait to get mammograms for 10 additional years, which will undoubtedly result in more women who are undiagnosed with breast cancer.  It just plain sickens me. 

I’m wondering if we should also change our recommendations about some of the following (as it seems the risks may outweigh the benefit??). 

Drinking Milk – Many people have lactose intolerance and after all, our bones are not at their weakest until after menopause

Driving – Statistics show that:  For those in the age group of 1 to 30 years, the leading cause of death is due to being involved in a car accident. (Every 12 minutes, one person dies because of a car accident). (source: http://www.lawcore.com/car-accident/statistics.html).  And, I really only need a car to get to/from work.. so I could easily wait to drive until I’m 30!?

Space Exploration – This one is MIGHTLY costly and there are countless debates about the benefits of space exploration. As of 2003, there had been approximately 430 people to fly in space 18 of whom have perished.. this is a 4% fatality rate. (source: http://www.thespacereview.com/article/36/1 )

Prostate Cancer Checks – From 2002-2006, the median age of diagnosis for prostate cancer was 68 years of age.  And, only a “mere” 10% are diagnosed before the age of 44. (source: http://seer.cancer.gov/statfacts/html/prost.html ) And, let’s be honest, what man wouldn’t delay this test if they could?

– oh wait.. that prostate test doesn’t really cost that much… so, I suppose we can keep doing that one…

I’m sure I could go on and on.. but I won’t.  I’ll just say this.

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY THINKING??

Ok… rant over.