Posted by: Admin | October 12, 2009

The Top 10 Signs You’ve Been Unemployed Too Long

In the past I’ve shared a wide variety of my Symptoms of Unemployment…. Well, the longer I remained unemployed, the worse these symptoms seem to get.  So, today I’d like to take a look at: 

The Top 10 Signs You’ve Been Unemployed Too Long

  1. You get excited when you get a phone call from a solicitor , because even for a brief moment, you know that someone is calling to speak to YOU!
  2. You are increasingly worried that your dry cleaner is going to “not be responsible for your lost clothes” since it’s been well over 30 days since you’ve picked up your last load a) you sure don’t need them  b) your money is far better spent in other areas
  3. Your neighbors ask your husband if everything is ok with you, because they don’t recognize the dirty woman who comes out of the house each day to get the mail
  4. You can recite the entire TV guide from the hours of 2:00am to 4:00am
  5. If a Fed Ex delivery comes during the day, you are instantly torn between:  complete excitement that you might have someone to talk to and complete horror that you need to open the door, unshowered, in your pajamattire
  6. Your Mush Brain has become so bad that every sentence contains at least 2 ahhhs, 3 uhms, and 2 uncomfortably long pauses
  7. You’ve considered starting a porta potty business … because it seems the world is filled with nothing but assholes.
  8. You’re not only talking to your dog out loud, but you are now answering yourself in your best “doggie” voice.
  9. Your muffin top has finally grown into a bundt cake
  10. You are excited to go to your dentist appointment because it’s the only place where you don’t have to answer them if they ask how your job search is going

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  1. Nice observations. Would be more funny if it was not so true for many people.

    • Lena… how right you are 😦

  2. Funny. Frustrating and funny. Some of us use the “doggie” voice during employment times also – that’s okay, right?

    • M ~ sshhhh.. I don’t tell too many people this, but I can recall using the “doggie voice” pre-unemployment.. but it’s becoming far more frequent now!

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